In 1.3 of Troilus and Cressida, Ulysses reports that Patroclus has been “pageanting” the Greeks for Achilles who languishes in bed. Ulysses claims the performance is terrible: Patroclus’s gestures are ridiculous, his dialogue wooden, his emotions overstated. We recognize, however, that Patroclus is doing impressions and Achilles’ amusement is derived from hyperbolic likenesses. This chapter will consider this scene of impersonation as both private game and public play in order to show that while the bed game is framed as wasteful and unproductive, the report constitutes a rare moment in this play, in which words actually capture the truth of the things they seek to represent.